to infinity and beyond.....

The more time I have to sit and think the more questions I come across. It seems to me that I have not been living a life that I find satisfying. School is a great cushy job, it is like that work that you take when you have nothing else. It pays well enough in knowledge and self-satisfaction. But for me, I am over it. I have had enough of just sitting around being led along as a student. I love to learn but I am over the structure and the formality of school.

I really never wanted to be a full time academic, I guess I went to college only becuase I was smart and that is what you are supposed to do. I would have been just as happy taking an apprenticeship as a mountain guide or joining the search and rescue.

I am told that right now "geologist are in demand. You can get hired right out of school." Well thats great and all but if I never had to write another report or try to compile the most relevant information, I would not shed a single tear. To me that is what a consulting job is, just more school work. Well, no thank you. I don't care how much it pays, or travels, or another benefit that might be involved. I am sick of that stuck in the rut feeling of having strict guidelines that are in place for the sake of it. Does it really matter that much how I cite an author? Whether I should have used "that" or ", which"? Will that make or break the deal? Will my life be in jeopardy?

I am have tasted rich full life, and it doesnt belong anywhere near a desk or office. Maybe I am just a thrill seeker, adrenaline junkie, irresponsible, or what ever you want to call it. But the fact remains that I am that person that needs more than a nine to five bore fest and a month of vacation time. There is no pleasure in that, no satisfaction, no raison de vie.

The other fact of the matter is that I am ten months away from graduating for a very well known university with a Bachelors of Science, and I have worked too hard and suffered too much to let that go. I am one to finish things that I start. But after that I will actually have no mold to fit, and I cant wait for that kind of release and freedom. I am ready to start living my life.

I realize that this is just another step, soon I will want to have financial freedom, and then some other freedom, and then that type of freedom. But never the less when you are about to break out of an old habit it is exciting and can never end fast enough.

I have always thought of myself as mature for my age, but I have fallen behind as of late.

Then again, what a waste comparisons are. Another reason to be done with school.