there's something happening here

So whatever you are doing before you read this:

Stop. Take a breath. Relax. Roll your neck. Let your shoulders drop.

Ok, feel better? I bet.

The current popular drug of choice is stress.

Why would we ever let ourselves be convinced to kill ourselves?




Take a moment and imagine a community of homes. Nice houses with big lawns.
Now imagine the people that live in these homes. Families, young professionals, retirees- people of all ages and walks of life. This is a good happy community, people leave there front doors open when they are at home, there are big picnics almost every weekend, you can see kids from all over the neighborhood running together in a big pack. You may not like your neighbors, maybe they are a little crazy, or cranky, or maybe you just have different points of view. But you have no qualms about walking over to their house to ask for help, and certainly in a emergency they wouldn't even hesitate to do anything they could for you.

Seems like something out of the 50's. Some strange Utopia. Ok, so I admit it is a bit idealized, but you should at least know the people names and have a good sense of who they are. Maybe even invited them over for a drink , or a backyard BBQ. If they refuse, well you tried.

I get a sense of a community that is more than just a group of homes, businesses, planning a zoning committee and a local newspaper. It is a group of humans that are looking out for each other. Sure, they may not be your best friend but you KNOW that they would join the bucket line if your house was burning, or at least come outside to see if everyone is all right.

But that doesn't happen. The only reason they even called 911 was they were afraid that the fire might spread to their house.

When did houses stop being shelters for comfort and start being a place to hide away from everything? OR a prison? They are now a place to coup ourselves up in. To cower.

We create some many barriers between ourselves and everyone else. Sure, there are bad people, and we cant be friends with everyone. But as it stands their is hardly even the possibility of creating any kind of relationship, good or bad, becuase we have created so many shields to protect ourselves. And with no interactions, we might as well be dead, there is nothing human left in our life unless we can form some bonds and help the others around us. But maybe it is something bigger than that, maybe we cant even help ourselves, much less anyone else. We have turned a blind eye to our self destructive nature, and have let the machine grind us up so we can make a bigger buck. sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad

Freedom and indivuality and blazing a new path has led so many people into a dark and lonely forest, and humans simply cant survive without some companions. Maybe they eat more than they are worth, and are a real pain to deal with. But how can you measure the strength someone gives you becuase they simply believe in you? You dont even need to be a good companion and make a big deal when someone you know makes an achievement. But why would you scorn them and make them feel guilty or be jealous? Some of that is human nature, a lot of it is taught to us by dark sinister people.

I started think about all of this becuase of my current situation. I have been living in this apartment for almost a year, directly over the owners home, and not once have I been invited to come into their home for any reason. Not once. Not for dinner, not for conversation, not for me to try and help them out with something. Nothing. There is something wrong with that. They are nice enough people when I can corner them to talk, but they are the coldest and most un-human group I have ever met. I see it the most in their kids, they are polite enough but have no idea how to carry on a conversation and actually seem interested in what the other person says. Maybe they are all just extremely awkward, or shy. But Damn, they are like vampires sucking the life out of me. I cant even imagine what it must be like to live as a part of the family. Gives me chills.

It reminds me of one of my friends who said that he lived for many years in the same building as a elderly couple, actually their doors were right across from each other, but they had never met. They had not even spoken when they bumped into each other in the hallway. No Hello. No Hi Kyle. Nothing, dead silence. Nothing said. Stuff like that blows my mind. You share a wall with a person and you know that they are right there but you just choose to ignore them. By shutting them out you create some kind of private sanctuary, and somehow it is better because you ignore them. That having some kind of relation with the person would make your house less sacred. Well, NO. I am sorry, but that is wrong. False. You have failed to be a human. You have failed at the one thing that actually matters. You are no longer able to call yourself a decent person.

A lot of people like to group it into a city/suburbs vs. small town/country type of dichotomy. I dont think that is true though. There are plenty of people in the country that live as hermits and want nothing to do with anyone, and there are friendly people that live in the city. It is not where you live, but how you live.

People have lost touch with what it means to be human, and to be part of a human community. Maybe they never really knew that in their life, but somewhere down the line their ancestors decided to cut themselves off from everything. We know that at some point they had to depend of others, otherwise the simply would have survived. But for whatever reason, money, bad experiences, crazy, or anything, they decided to not interact with anyone. Just becuase you interact with people doesn't mean you have to like them. But you cant go around acting like they dont exist.

There is another name for that--self-centered.